In our upcoming episode with Luke and Dan, another restaurant is brought up: Wahlburgers! While he can’t eat there all of the time, Mike is a fan of the Wahlberg brothers’ burger joint – specifically their Olathe location, which is (as of this post) the only Wahlburgers in the Kansas City area.

As will be mentioned in the episode, Mike has tried all three of their signature burgers – each one was given its own video by the restaurant (and we will share them with you now):

The Our Burger (aka the Chef Paul burger) – made with 1/3 pound burger, lettuce, tomato, onion, government cheese (think American cheese), wahl sauce (similar to McDonald’s Big Mac sauce but much smoother and spicier – and perfect for dipping tater tots into), and pickles. This is Mike’s favorite of the three, and he likes to add bacon to it (by the way, they are more than okay with custom orders).

The BBQ Bacon Burger (aka the Donnie burger) – made with 1/3 pound burger, white cheddar cheese, bacon, jalapeños, BBQ sauce, and avocado spread. Mike is allergic to avocado, so this is one where customizing the order is needed – in this case, swap the avocado for wahl sauce.

The Thanksgiving Turkey Burger (aka the Marky Mark burger) – made with 1/4 pound turkey burger, stuffing, mayo, orange-cranberry sauce, and roasted butternut squash. Have this one as is, because it tastes exactly like a Thanksgiving dinner.

As a bit of a preview for the upcoming Luke and Dan episode, allow me to present this video on what we have nicknamed Jesus Chicken:

One thing that was perfectly clear from the most recent episode: Mike knows his NFL alignment pretty well.

So, we shall review that short list in writing and by division:

• NFC North
  • Chicago – Maybe; Keith’s team (Keith being a Chicago native), but almost didn’t make the list at all primarily because of Mike’s previous (mostly unpleasant) experience in Chicago.
  • Detroit – No; the team had an 0-16 season in 2008.
  • Green Bay – On the list; Mike’s sister is one of the many Packers fans who also owns a share of the team.
  • Minnesota – Maybe; while Mike likes Minneapolis, the Vikings’ owners were PS (Pro-Stan).
• NFC South
  • Atlanta – No; owner was PS, and the city is ground zero in the “how old is too old for stadiums” debate (Georgia Dome was only 25 years old when it was torn down in favor of the monstrosity that is Mercedes-Benz Stadium; Turner Field was 19 years old when the Braves fled to the suburbs).
  • Carolina – No; despite owner Jerry Richardson being one of the likely two “No” votes in the final vote and being very pro-St. Louis (he was also one of the five pro-Carson votes on the ignored LA committee), the team historically has too many thugs on their roster.
  • New Orleans – Yes; Mike has familial ties to Louisiana.
  • Tampa Bay – No; the Glazers also own Manchester United, which Mike famously hates.
• NFC East
  • Dallas – HELL No!; Jerry F@#$ing Jones was Señor Stan’s biggest cheerleader for Inglewood.
  • NY Football Giants – Yes; owner was one of the five pro-Carson votes on the ignored LA committee.
  • Philadelphia – Yes; despite the owner being PS, Mike had always been a closeted Eagles fan.
  • Washington – No; owner was PS, and the team still needs to change the nickname.
• NFC West
  • Arizona – Yes; The ultimate choice for Mike’s replacement team, simply because the owner was pro-St. Louis and was likely one of the two “No” votes in that final tally.
  • LA Professional Liars – This was the team that Mike had been a fan of his whole life until they lied their way out of St. Louis for no good reason. Enjoy the lawsuits and total lack of fan support, Señor Stan (and your professional ass-kisser Demoff, too)!
  • San Francisco – HELL No!; Considering which team Mike had long supported, why would he all of a sudden start supporting their most hated rival?
  • Seattle – No; Owner was PS.
• AFC North
  • Baltimore – No; Owner was PS (to the point of questioning why there was even a team in St. Louis!), the team – like Carolina – relies heavily on thugs on their roster, and the team’s origins (a result of the Art Modell stunt) are all negatives.
  • Cincinnati – Maybe; Despite the owner being PS and the team’s long history of playoff futility.
  • Cleveland – Yes; Mike attended the 1999 Hall of Fame Game with seats in the famous Dawg Pound, which was a largely positive experience.
  • Pittsburgh – Yes; owner was one of the five pro-Carson votes on the ignored LA committee, and familial ties – his father is a Pittsburgh native.
• AFC South
  • Houston – Yes; owner was one of the five pro-Carson votes on the ignored LA committee, and familial ties – most of his late mother’s family lives in the Houston area.
  • Indianapolis – Yes; despite the owner being PS, the Colts had long been Mike’s #2 team after the Professional Liars and share a lot of history via ownership, players, and playing in domes along I-70.
  • Jacksonville – No; owner was initially screwed out of buying the team in St. Louis, then bought Señor Stan’s bulls@#$ reasons for ripping the team out of town. Also not helped by his stewardship of Fulham FC (relegated from Premier League twice now since he bought the club).
  • Tennessee – No; Mike’s feelings toward his former team echo his late mother’s feelings towards the former Houston Oilers – she referred to them post-move as “the Spoilers.”
• AFC East
  • Buffalo – No; new owner was PS.
  • Miami – No; owner was PS AND anti-Raiders moving to Vegas.
  • New England – No; despite owner being one of the five pro-Carson votes on the ignored LA committee, the Patriots were not considered due to familial pressure.
  • NY Jets – No; owner was PS.
• AFC West
  • Denver – Maybe; pop culture references (South Park, Simpsons) and John Elway’s stewardship of the team warranted consideration.
  • Kansas City – HELL No!; Despite Mike being a native Kansas Citian, he has never been – and never will be – a fan of the local NFL team for a number of reasons, including their owner being the only pro-Inglewood (and therefore PS) vote on the ignored LA committee.
  • LA Chargers – Intentionally excluded out of respect to and in solidarity with San Diego fans. That said, unlike Señor Stan’s Merry Band of Professional Liars, the Chargers EARNED the right to play in LA.
  • Raiders – Intentionally excluded out of respect to and in solidarity with Oakland fans.

Episode 23 of This Podcast Is… Uncalled For

Click here to download and listen.

In a post-St. Louis NFL world, Mike needed almost a full year to calm down enough to find a new team to pull for. So, in this classic re-purposing of an edition of the Winning Side Coaches podcast, Mike reviews every NFL team with “Controversy” Keith Lott to whittle down his options.

That short list is as follows (on alphabetical order):

• Arizona Cardinals
• Chicago Bears
• Cincinnati Bengals
• Cleveland Browns
• Denver Broncos
• Green Bay Packers
• Houston Texans
• Indianapolis Colts
• Minnesota Vikings
• New Orleans Saints
• New York Giants
• Philadelphia Eagles
• Pittsburgh Steelers

Ultimately, we learned from Randy Karraker, a St. Louis sports talk show host who was at the January 2016 meetings that needlessly ripped a team out of eastern Missouri, that the two “No” votes (most likely because it was a secret ballot) came from Arizona (on the short list) and the Carolina Panthers (not on the short list).

So, by default, Mike became an Arizona fan.

Music:

• Intro music: “Fantasia Fantasia” by Kevin MacLeod
• Transition music: “Morocco Sting” by Kevin MacLeod
• Transition music: “No Frills Salsa – Alternate” by Kevin MacLeod
• Outro music: “Impulse” by Parallel Park

Our next episode will be a remaster of my Winning Side Coaches episode with “Controversy” Keith Lott going through the process of picking a “post-Rams” team for me to follow.

Below is the best fucking podcasting moment in history – and the reason I know about it is because I was a St. Louis Ram fan. The moment starts at 4:37.

Episode 27 – Bernie and Randy: The Podcast from 101ESPN on Vimeo.

That’s right. If you are an idiot – and you know who you are – Bernie’s advice (and the headline) applies to you.

We are so excited about our episode with Conrado Salazar that we thought we’d share this game that Mike played against Conrado in June 2019. Sadly, this is not the game where Mike screwed up his opening by playing e4 instead of d4 (thus opening himself up to a Sicilian, which goes 1. e4 c5).

Here is the notation – Mike on white, Conrado on black. The opening is an Indian Game – East Indian, Colle System:

1. d4 Nf6
2. Nf3 g6
3. e3 Bg7
4. Bd3 c5
5. 0-0 cxd4
6. Nxd4 e5
7. Nf3 e4
8. Nfd2 exd3
9. cxd3 d5
10. Nf3 0-0
11. Nc3 Nc6
12. Bd2 Bg4
13. h3 Be6
14. e4 dxe4
15. dxe4 a6
16. e5 Nd5
17. Bg5 Qb6
18. Be3 Nxe3
19. Qe2 Nf5
20. Na4 Qb4
21. Nc3 Bc4
22. Rae1 Bxe2
23. Nxe2 Nxe5
24. a3 Nxf3+
25. gxf3 Qh4
26. Ng3 Nxg3
27. fxg3 Qxg3+
28. Kh1 Rae8
29. Rg1 Rxe1
30. f4 Rxg1#

As you can see, Conrado (who is a much higher rated player than Mike) won in 30 moves. Here is the final board:

Update: Mike DID find the notation where he screwed up and opened e4, with Conrado countering with c5. It turns out it was a lot longer than 30 moves.

1. e4 c5
2. d3 Nc6
3. Be3 d6
4. Nd2 Nf6
5. Ngf3 Ng4
6. Qe2 Nxe3
7. fxe3 e5
8. 0-0-0 Be7
9. Qe1 Be6
10. d4 cxd4
11. exd4 exd4
12. Nxd4 Nxd4
13. Bd3 0-0
14. c3 Rc8
15. Nf3 Nxf3
16. gxf3 Bxa2
17. Qd2 Bf6
18. Rhg1 Qa5
19. f4 Bb3
20. Rde1 Rfd8
21. e5 dxe5
22. fxe5 Qa1+
23. Bb1 Rxd2
24. Kxd2 Qxb2+
25. Bc2 Qxc2+
26. Ke3 Kxe5
27. Rg5 Bf4+
28. Kxf4 Qd2+
29. Re3 Rxc3
30. Rge5 Rxe3
31. Rxe3 Qxe3+
32. Kxe3 a5
33. Kd3 b5
34. Kc3 Be6
35. Kb2 f5
36. h4 h6
37. Ka3 g6
38. Kb2 Kg7
39. Ka3 Kf6
40. Kb2 f4
41. Kc1 Ke5
42. Kd1 Ke4
43. Ke1 a4
44. Kf2 a3
45. h5 gxh5
46. Ke2 a2
47. Kf2 a1=Q
48. Ke2 Qa2+
49. Ke1 b4
50. Kf1 b3
51. Ke1 Qc2
52. Kf1 b2
53. Ke1 b1=Q#

The livestream did take place today.

I did a few fun things on today’s livestream, including:

• The spoken lyrics to the “Special Happy Birthday” song
• Top 10 Podcasts (not done by me)
• 12 random questions courtesy of RandomLists.com

The audio will be incorporated into the podcast for a later release. In the meantime, enjoy this livestream.